A few days ago I turned 20, waving my teenage years goodbye. I’m guilty of spending more time than necessary worrying about how fast time is flying and that I should try to get my shit together. I’m now officially an adult for God’s sake. I was left feeling older than I actually am, mostly because now such a significant part of my life is actually over and “real life” is about to begin, one where I won’t be able to blame my age for the stupid decisions I make (YAY!). To be fair it was around 2 in the morning and if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s overthinking… of all the things I could be good at 😂.

It still feels so surreal that I am now an adult. It doesn’t feel much different than when I turned 16 or 18. Perhaps, what has mostly changed is that now I feel more obliged to figure out what I’m going to do with my life. God knows I’ve never been very good at that. But that’s what being an adult is all about…responsibility. And hopefully no longer being looked at as a child (although that doesn’t sound too bad right about now). But mostly responsibility. ​

Let’s be real. I’m nowhere near ready to set up my own doctor appointments or pay my own bills. I guess that’s one of the benefits that comes of living on a small island where nowhere is too far and you don’t have to leave home to go to college. As a student, the major sense of responsibility comes from an educational side. If you mess that up, you’re going to be messing with your future. Talk about pressure!

Nonetheless, no matter how old you are, it’s still your birthday and you can afford another day of dumb choices you’ll probably regret in the morning. And hey, you can always eat cake and drawn your sorrows (don’t worry calories don’t count on your birthday).

From the unorganized rumblings of a Suddenly-Feeling-Too-Old-20-Year-Old.
-A ♡

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